Ne'erday Derby

Sadly the New Years Day Derby has to take place a day late these days, tradition sometimes changes after all. However one tradition has not changed, the traditional Christmas Stuffing the Heart of Midlothian give to the Hibernian each Mid Winter.  The Glasgow based media are not inclined to withhold their animosity towards the Heart of Midlothian, especially since Chairman Vlad Romanov spoke out about their anti Hearts and pro Old Firm bias, referred to them as 'Monkeys,' and filled the press room at the ground with bananas!  Daily we see attacks on the Heart of Midlothian, until today unanswered as the club (that is Vlad) decided not to communicate with the media, and the clubs financial problems made into headlines at all times even though Rangers football club are indeed in dire straights.  Rangers as you are aware owe £49 million to the taxman, their new chairman has a business record that has caused consternation among the clubs better supporters and yet nothing is said in the media about this!   One story concentrates on the Heart of Midlothian delaying payment of wages to the players.  One thought is that this is because the bank behind the club has money troubles caused by the recession, another view is Vlad is delaying payment, by a month or more, to 'encourage' the better paid players to move on to other clubs!  Ian Black was thus found helping a mate redecorate  and the story was given much publicity that he had to do this to pay for his family.  I suspect his wage is sufficient for him to survive a month without payment without earning cash from friends.  However any story that makes the Hearts look bad gets good coverage.


Today therefore the Hearts traveled to Leith to meet the wee team with empty pockets but much more ability! The Hibernian journeymen (and where should this lot journey to I ask?) were brushed aside in spite of their thuggish brutal attacks on our players, and Ian Black in particular.  Clearly 'Blackie' was here to show them some revenge, and so he did, manfully baring the abuse (four ought to have been cautioned and only was was!) and running the game from start to finish.  We will ignore the missed penalty, that was just to rub it in at the end I suspect.  The 'jibe' about painting is the reason he showed of the T-shirt with "I'll paint this place Maroon," at the end.  However in my view the man of the match was in fact our left back Ryan McGowan. 'Gowser,' an Australian, gave the 'headless chicken' Ivan Sproule a torrid time, except when assaulted by the thug and he then reacted somewhat foolishly by headbanging the neds stomach.  Good refereeing allowed both off and 'Gowser' can happily go home rejoicing in a great victory and knowing he was the scorer of the first goal!  An enthusiastic performer, our of position, and bang on form, great player.  I just hope Manchester United were not looking, they canny afford him!  Apart from ten minutes after the break when Hibs attempted a new tactic, they passed the ball to one another, there was little to fear. The resulting three one victory, with substitute John Sutton arriving to play well and create two goals and finish them off, was well deserved.  The team spirit and solidarity showed from start to finish from the 'Maroons,' and the money troubles that create so much press has never affected their performances.  


A quick glance at the London Hearts site shows that 'Dave' the author has not made it home yet. So I will update you on the simple facts regarding this game.  So far the Heart of Midlothian have won 276 derbies of all types, Hibs have won only 200.  In doing this the Hearts have scored 1065 goals, Hibs a paltry 892, and I can assure you many that I saw were either 'offside,' or favouritism from referees! This may well be the most one sided Derby in the world!  I once met a Hibernian fan in London, he was in the hospital where I worked,his illness?  Blackouts and depression!  No wonder!


In these lazy days around the festive season I have spent hours stealing football matches on my PC.  Normally I dislike doing this but I really cannot afford 'Sky,' which I would have otherwise.  I am managing two or three games a day at the moment, or at least bits of games, and in opposition to this TV offers absolutely nothing!  How sad is this?  Still, I am happy, especially after today.  I just wish I was in Edinburgh so I could walk into work tomorrow and smile smugly at the Hibbys around me, not that I am one to gloat when my fellow man is down mind, but in this instance it is allowable!

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Sabbath Football Joy, as normal.....

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Heart of Midlothian 2 Hibernian 0. Goals from Stevenson and Webster saw off the feeble challenge from the 'hump it and see' wee team.  The 'flair' with which they are famous (one day I will add that to the list of 'Myths that have no source,') was seen to be long balls up to the dope wearing the No 9 shirt. He fluffed it, several times!  Besides the usual attempt to decapitate and injure our innocent players the opposition offered nothing worth mentioning.  It was however pointed out that a club famous for having incompetent goalkeepers had a star man in their goalie today, and he still lost! 


The new shape of the Heart of Midlothian continues to develop.  Another season at the top end of the table is for us to expect, while the wee team suffer another season avoiding relegation.  While our noble players receive treatment for the bruisers obtained today they will rest, in between guzzling champagne, and while the fans indulge in reminding friends who support the Hibs, if they can find them (I appear to be persona non granta from one Hibs board) that Hearts are once again dominant, the Hibs folks will be in their beds!  I suspect the only thing Hibernian will do is sack the manager, although it is of course the chairman's fault that they are in this position, but he will be replaced by another numpty, probably McGhee!   However as I am not one to gloat when my enemy falls I will pass on such gloating, but I will feature the table as it stands tonight anyway!  This is fast becoming the most one sided derby game in the world!  Let us look at the figures.



Since the first derby, played at Edinburgh's East Meadows on the 25th of December 1875, which the Heart of Midlothian won by one goal to nil, there have been  618 derby matches. The statistics are as follows. 


Heart of Midlothian Victories : 276
Hibernian, the Wee Team :      200
Drawn games:                         141
Abandoned: (Hibs ran away in a huff) :  1


Goals scored:
Heart of Midlothian : 1064 Goals  
Wee Team:               892 


Interestingly Hearts have won more derbies on Hibs ground than Hibernian have.
Also interestingly, Heart of Midlothian have won more derbies on the Hearts ground than Hibs have.  Good innit?


I could go on, but I leave you with the table instead.

1	Rangers	5	9	13
2	Motherwell	6	4	13
3	Celtic	5	8	12
4	Hearts	6	3	8
5	Dunfermline	5	0	8
6	St Mirren	6	-1	8
7	Kilmarnock	5	2	6
8	Dundee Utd	6	-4	6
9	St Johnstone	5	-2	5
10	Inverness CT	6	-6	4
11	Aberdeen	6	-6	4
12	Hibernian	5	-7	3

The Future is bright, the future is maroooooooooooooooooooon!






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Weather

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Snow on the hills in the north, rain lashing down here, and the remaining leaves being swept from the trees by the high winds. I am beginning to think, especially as the cold temperature has made me put on those woollen gloves with the fingers cut out, I am beginning to think as I said that winter may be upon us. Until now I have avoided the signs, Christmas trees in the shops, gas prices rising, and football managers facing the sack. All clear evidence of winter. Today I trekked out through this glorious weather to obtain the needful goodies. Tonight I was swept along as I again trekked out to buy those I forgot and urgently required.I am now writing my book, "How to be an Idiot without practice!"

Hibernian's chances in this season cup?

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Monday

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Why is it that every time a sporting event begins the opening ceremony is described as 'spectacular?'  Such events are required of course, speeches with all the right platitudes, dancing children, examples of the home nations culture, and so on. However I question why they are always called 'spectacular' when a better word to describe them might be 'dire?' I tend to avoid such 'spectacular' overblown events as they turn out to be irrelevant to the actual events that follow, are all to often meaningless, and in some cases, yes I mean the French at the opening of the World Cup finals, so 'arty' that not even the home nation understand them..
Dancing children do have fun and are left with a cherished memory, however an overpaid Diana Ross ruining the USA's 94 World Cup opening is just left with cash and a publicity stunt. I reckon there must be a better way to open such events, or at least if not better, maybe shorter!

So I bought the ticket for the Lottery. Never mind failing to provide the correct numbers for the £82 million on Friday evening I still dreamt my dreams of being out of debt via the Saturday draw. Success indeed! The numbers were similar, riches beyond my dreams awaited me. Life could begin anew! I raced up to Mr Patel in the newsagent. Smugly I passed over the ticket.
"Four and a half million please," I said in a calm self controlled manner, adding that there was a fiver in it for him.
"Oh good," said Mr Patel smiling that smile he keeps for the deranged. He fiddled with the machine, sniggered, printed off two tickets and handed them over to me, along with £2.
"What's this?" I said somewhat stunned.
"Your winnings," he grinned.
"Two pounds?"
"No, you won £10." Mr Patel stood then smiling. To his side his wife attempted to hide her giggling.
"Excuse me for asking," I ventured, "But two is not ten. And these tickets.....?"
"Ah but it is," said Mr Patel in that voice doctors keep for mental patients. "You won ten pounds yes?"
"Yes....."
"I take five, as you promised me, from your winnings, that leaves five for you!" He stood then grinning that self satisfied grin, the one that deserves a good slap.
"But, but, I...didn't mean a fiver from ten pounds. I meant from the four and a half million that you have not given me!"
"Ah but you didn't make that clear did you?" He turned to his wife who nodded agreement and sniggered again. He looked to his side where his brother in law agreed heartily with his exposition.
"Yes but.....and anyway why only two pounds?" I stuttered.
Well, as you have won you will be tempted to a ticket for the Wednesday night draw won't you?" he waited.
"er, well, er...yeah!"
"And then," he added without sympathy, "you will wish to have a chance for the Friday £112 million draw won't you?"
"er, ..yeah, well, maybe....I...I er....um..."
"So that leaves you two pounds doesn't it?"
As he said this Mr Patel and brother in law helped me from the shop and I stood there, rain dripping of my glasses, two lottery tickets in my hand, wondering, just wondering........

Tonight's 'Edinburgh Evening News' gives us the sad news that Johns Hughes has left Hibernian by 'Mutual Consent.' In short he has been paid off. This is indeed sad news as his Hibernian side had been woeful, and that, I am sure you will agree, is marvellous to behold!  The team who claim to be the home of 'Flair Football' (@Hibernian Myth.com) have been left lying on the 'flair' week after week. This was of course good to see! Now however Rod Petrie the chairman has dug into his piggy bank and scraped together enough cash to remove the 'worst manager in Hibernian's history' since the last one, and the one before that, and the one before that..... ad infinitum. I await with baited breath the next numpty to take the 'hot seat' at Easter Road. Whoever it is the Heart of Midlothian remain Edinburgh's 'Big Team,' and the Hibbys remain the 'Wee Team.'  

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Sunday

This was the sky yesterday, today we have not seen it once! There has been a cloud a thousand miles long covering the land today, or at least the eastern half! How annoying is that? The sun makes the worst days appear worthwhile, and gray clouds or darkness deepens our gloom. A gloom made worse as I climbed aboard the bike this morning to discover the gear lever mechanism has bust! I think my neighbour moved it yesterday when shifting furniture, and has damaged it by mistake. Now it only works in top gear! So no cycling for me. This adds to the money I am spending just now, money I do not possess! The new monitor, the gear mechanism,. and a new cartridge for the printer are just three items added to the pile. Two birthdays that cannot be avoided arrived this week, and the credit card bill, and some folk thinks those on the dole spend all their time sitting in pubs!



However as you know I am not one to complain. I just put on my cheeriest smile and face the world with joy in my heart. Sometimes this is encouraged by circumstances outside of my ken. Today one of these moments arrived. Hibernian (Edinburgh's 'Wee Team') fans have been boasting on 'Hibs Mad' (an appropriate name) that their manager is bringing in many new players and that third place in the Scottish Premier League is theirs for the taking. (Third place ensures European competition) Today this world beating combination travelled to Hamilton Academicals to play the team bottom of the league. They lost by two goals to nil! A Hibs man at the game denounced them as 'Non-triers!' He was downhearted by their feeble performance, which included their new buy stars. Excuse me for a moment.....

Oh dear, I did enjoy that! Life feels so much better now.

Hibernian 0 Heart of Midlothian 2

Oh Dear, once again the Heart of Midlothian have put their near neighbours in their place. Their place? That of the 'Wee Team!' This Scottish Cup tie was played at the usual high speed with the Hearts playing all the football and Hibs only threatening when resorting to the long ball they deny using! In spite of ignoring the two footed challenge by Sol Bamba referee Craig Thomson decided he would not tolerate a similar assault by Hibs Steve Fletcher, a player Hibs claimed was being watched by Real Madrid among others! With the bal at least three feet ahead of the man Fletcher through himself at Berra and crashed into him, off he went and Hibs last hope fell. Quite how Chick Young could claim that a 'mere yellow' I cannot understand! I suppose his anti-Hearts stance took over. Andy Driver was soon to be found beating Mackalamby the Hibs goalie (what was he doing?) and cut the ball back from the by line to Christian Nade who slammed the ball home for the opening, and well deserved, goal! Naturally Hibernian could not control their emotions and threatened to turn rough, like the 'Works Team' they are, but the Heart of Midlothian kept their cool at such provocation. As we do!

The rest of the game was just dominance by the Heart of Midlothian and nothingness from the 'Wee Team.' There was a flutter of excitement when the changes were made, The great ineffectual Hibs hero Derek 'Deeks' Riordon was replaced late in the game. His fame as a 'ned' showed through as he greeted the Hearts fans acknowledgement of his departure by making rude gestures in their direction. The referee gave him a yellow card for this, and it was close to a red! It appears he went up the tunnel after possibly throwing down his shirt and allowing his discomfort to show through. (he he he!) I suspect we shall read of him thrashing some club he is barred from later tonight! Young Gary Glen came on for the last few minutes and in injury time he took advantage of the poor defence to latch on to a pass and round the goalie scoring the second goal, producing much merriment among the better half of Edinburgh. How nice!

The Heart of Midlothian first played, and defeated, Hibernian in 1875, since then dominating the matches between the clubs. With regard to the Scottish cup things remain the same.

Scottish Cup games.
Hearts won 13 Lost 7 plus 9 drawn games.
Goals Hearts 53 Hibs 39
Players Sent Off
(NB. Hibs Players Pre 1997 incomplete)
Total Heart of Midlothian = 10 red cards
Total Hibernian = 24 red cards
Total dominance and it leaves me with great sympathy for those Leith dwellers who have nothing but a future of inferiority ahead of them. Now that is something to think about eh?
The Heart of Midlothian have in fact won the Scottish cup twice in recent years, Hibernians last sight of an open topped bus occurred in 1902! Not even my 93 year old mother was born the last time Hibernian won the cup! Ho Ho Ho!

Next up Falkirk in the next round.

Heart of Midlothian 1 Hibernian 0

Once again the Heart of Midlothian have shown their superiority over Hibernian. There can surely be no doubt, anywhere in all creation, that Hibernian are referred to as 'The Wee Team' justly! This season has seen the Hearts struggle internally leading to poor performances on the field of play. Indeed we have not won since November. What better way to end this run than by beating the local rivals ? In spite of not playing well the Hearts can always rely upon the Hibernian coaching staff to aid us. Once again the Goalkeeping coach has failed in his job, this time forgetting to tell the goalie to catch the ball and stop it from fumbling over the line. Shame eh? Never mind, he is not the first numpty to play in goals for Hibernian, and he will not be the last!

The Edinburgh derby between Hibernian and the Heart of Midlothian first occurred at the Meadows in Edinburgh on Christmas Day 1875. On that occasion, which I did not attend, Hearts began the game with three men missing for the first twenty minutes yet still won by one goal to nil! Thus began a series of results than can only be called a 'custom.' In those early days football clubs would move from one playing area to another and as the game became quickly popular more permanent stadiums were required. By 1881 the Hearts has settled in Tynecastle while Hibs floated around until they finally developed a ground on an old rubbish tip just of Easter Road. Apt I would say, wouldn't you? Wherever they played the Hearts have been dominant at home and away. A quick look at the total figures for all the games played reveals how supreme the Heart of Midlothian have become.

Altogether, including League, Cup and a variety of other matches, the clubs have met a total of 603 times! The Hearts have won on 269 occasions the Hibs, with referees help, have scraped a mere 194 victories. There have been 134 drawn games, but we should have won them, and 6 games were abandoned! During this time, the Heart of Midlothian scored 1048 goals, and the refs chalked off many more out of sympathy for the 'Wee Team.' They themselves did manage to obtain 878 goals in this time. Most of them it must be said were actually offside or obtained from penalties which they obtained by their famous tactic of disgraceful diving!

The most famous occasion was naturally the 1896 Scottish Cup final played at Logie Green Road in Edinburgh. This was the only time the final has been played outside of Glasgow. The Glasgow authorities with their unreasonable belief that the game belongs to them insist on all the important matches occurring in the nations second city. On this occasion however, common sense prevailed and many thousands crowded this ground to watch the Heart of Midlothian win the Scottish Cup once again, and in doing so remind Hibernian that they remain 'The Wee Team!' It was not until 2006 that these clubs met at a high level in the Cup. On that occasion Hampden Park (It should have been Murrayfield) was the venue as the Hearts rejoiced in a marvellous 4-0 victory in the Scottish Cup Semi-Final. Most Hibs fans attended this game disguised as empty seats.

Back to today and we see that even when the Heart of Midlothian play badly we can still beat 'The Wee Team!' Tells you all you need to know about the two sides eh? Is that rain I hear lashing down outside? Or are the streets flooding because of the tears from the losers?

Heart of Midlothian 0 St Mirren 1

Losing to Inverness Caley was a disgrace. Losing at home to a St Mirren side not fit to grace the Premier League can only be described as a disaster! We not sit third bottom of the SPL! Third bottom in the season you claimed we would win the European Champions League! Third bottom, just one point ahead of St Mirren, a team full of fight, and only ten ahead of bottom placed Gretna. Looks good doesn't it Vlad? Just what is to happen now? Have these Lithuanian numpties got no idea just what this football club represents? Does the chairman think that winning(how exactly?) a televised dance competition is more important that making this club what it ought to be? If he does not, I am more than willing to remove the ignorance from him!
Today, even the best players cannot pass the ball, the rest just stand and look. It is not enough Vlad to employ people who you can trust, they need to be able to do the job! This your men are clearly not able to do! However, it is clear that while these men, those silent men who never face the press, while these men could be replaced by a proper manager that has man management ability and tactical nous, too many players have either lost their ability or are just not up to this level of football. That however must be obvious even to you Vlad! I am just glad that we no longer play Hibernian on New Years Day. In spite of their problems they would just murder us, and how could the fans cope with that?

First person to say "Rejoice! 'Tis is the season of goodwill." Gets it!

Heart of Midlothian

Losing by one goal to nil to a strong Hibernian side is no disgrace. Losing with no tactics, players who are not good enough to wear the shirt, and good players who are so disillusioned with the foolhardy behaviour behind the scenes, is a tragedy!
The time is now for Vlad to decide if he wants this club to be successful or not. If so he must step back, hard for a man with his inherent weakness, and appoint a manager who can perform. He must allow the said manager to do his job without his woeful interference, and encourage success instead of this slow death we are now heading towards.
Either that or he must leave!
Enough is enough!

Hearts 4 Hibernian 0

WoooooooooooHoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Nae bother at all eh?
I was never worried! Four goals to nil against the 'young flair' team.
Why two of them bothered to get sent off escapes me. I mean, it doesn't help your lost cause does it eh?
Ah well. Now for Gretna in the final. Another 'wee team' to destroy!

Semi Final

Just about an hour to go.
I have not got SKY so I will not see it, unless I cvan find it on the web.
The Hearts World option may be the only one.
But, if they score first it is sooo hard to listen and not see what is happening!

Maybe I will just go out.......

Heart of Midlothian v Hibernian Semi Final

The tension mounts.
Now we know that our opponents in the final will be Gretna, the up and coming team from the lower leagues. Surely we ought to beat them! However, the Heart of Midlothian often make hard work of small teams. So nothing is going to be easy!
Oh yes, we still have to play Hibernian, so that is why the tension is mounting. But really, we ought to beat them, we usually do! The overall scores since the eighteen seventies shows the Heart of Midlothian as well ahead on victories over the 'Wee Team!' So tomorrow it stands to reason that will not change.
Well, except that Stuart Dougal is to be the referee of course.
That is one thing in Hibs favour eh?

Heart of Midlothian 4 Hibernian 1

Once again the mighty Heart of Midlothian have taken the wee team apart!
How delightful to know that even if we stumbled against Kilmarnock last week, when it matters the Hearts can turn it on.
Three goals in sixteen minutes, and the Hibbys were running for home.
Now, if the Celts will do us the favour of losing a couple more, and they can, it's a league where we all take points of each other, our chances will improve.
New players arriving, more on the way.

The futures bright!
The futures MAROON!