Friday 27 October 2006

Heart of Midlothian

Once again we see this great football club in a spin!
Romanov, who has always been 'different' in his approach, may have gone too far this time.
Pressley, Gordon and Hartley appear at a press conference and the talk is of 'player unrest.'
Too many mediocre east European players coming in, and this at a time when the squad has never been so strong! Vlads intention to raise young Lithuanians and sell them on is a dud! They are just not good enough. No matter how many Russian coaches he produces they will never replace what is already there!

Will he stay? Yes. Will things improve? Who knows.
Another typical day at Tynecastle!

Thursday 26 October 2006

Strange Flu Symptoms

My friend Blackberry Juniper has been suffering from the strange flu like symptoms that have arisen in recent years. Colds and flu used to arrive in their time, destroy your life for a while, then move on. Now the bug arrives, and lingers. One day, or more, in the throat. One day, or more, in the head. Slowly it moves around the body affecting various parts with malady. This goes on so long that I have suffered one bug for a time and it has rolled into the next one. Why?
Is there a reason for this new style cold? It cannot in truth be called flu, even though we use that name. But it debilitates, causes suffering, and is a nuisance. Symptoms can be dealt with, sometimes. But the disease just will not end!

Saturday 21 October 2006

The Cave of Adullam

The sun shining in the cave opening brightens the whole place. Sunshine, in the worst of circumstances, cheers all things. What a great invention! However, looking round into the hidden depths the environment is far more gloomy. Cobwebs hang in the corners, whole generations of spiders have made their homes here undisturbed. The dank air is suffused with the odour of ageing onion leftovers, the traditional British foodstuff curry, and a wide variety of human foulers that need not be mentioned here!
The rusting washing machine, in good working order until the handle came off, sits sullenly in a recess. The trouble and stress required to have running water installed, or electricity and gas knows no equal. Utility companies, especially privatised money greedy ones, have no concern for 'service' of any kind. A disgrace began by Maggie Thatcher and her money obsessed friends! What passes for a kitchen lies deep under a crust off fallen breadcrumbs, left over pasta, tattie peelings, empty rusting tins, and so on. All coloured by a variety of splashes of sauces which now energetically are turning a bright green with the mould. Maybe I should start a penicillin factory?
The video recorder, which doesn't record, the wireless, with an out of control volume knob, and the broken community of PC's lie covered in a thick gray dust. Newspapers, colour supplements and half read books cover the floor. Mice hold parties in one of the tunnels to the left. Beasties of all sort crawl, wriggle and slime their way around the walls.
It's true what they say. There is no place like home! Well, when the sun shines.

Wednesday 18 October 2006

Sick!

Why am I always sick?
I'm convinced these cold symptoms have been with me since 1987! Constantly I am assailed by a bug in the head, or throat or somewhere. An underlying tiredness comes and goes with amazing regularity. WHY? I have tried all the usual things, and one or two unusual, which I won't go into! But again I find myself down with this virus! In days of yore a cold came, caused deathly suffering, and went in three days! Now it comes one long lasting symptom after another and starts after the previous one has just gone.
Good job I'm not one to comlpain.
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Madonna adopts a child from Africa. I hope she does this for the child's sake and not her own. I wonder if the better idea would be to spend some of her wealth enabling the child, and others, to be brought up in their own country? Too often the woman's emotions rule the head. When the woman is a celebrity I think questions need to be asked.
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Think on this. God creates us. Because he is perfect we cannot be near him, so he gives his Son to die for us, as a substitution. Many respond to this grace, and struggling maybe, find a new satisfying life. So how come with all I know, and with all the grace I have received, how come I am so bad? I still want you God. But, well....but......you know.

Tuesday 17 October 2006

Writing

This writing lark is not as easy as it looks. I wrote a small item for some friends and when I looked it over I had to make one or two changes. It took several days to complete those changes! As I wrote all seemed well, but later the wonderful text turned into total drivel! Similar happenings occur when I am lying half asleep in my bed. In my mind I write wonderful articles full of drive, inspiration and constructive thinking. By the time I reach the keyboard this has dissipated faster than an ice cream in the desert! Where does it go?
A year or so back I started to write my tome on the Great War. It naturally got forgotten in the rush to make a living and find sufficient sleep at the same time. When it came back to my attention I could not believe what a load of rubbish stared me in the face! I reckon someone had sabotaged my effort!
If you have stumbled through this I congratulate you. I tell you I am not going to re-read it, just in case.

Thursday 12 October 2006

Press Coverage

Never fails to amaze me how the press twist things to suit themselves. Football reporting is the clearest example of tabloid spin imaginable! If the team win by a lucky goal they may well be called 'all conquering' but if they lose that way it is 'shockingly poor!'
Last night England (always shockingly poor it has to be said) lost a second goal from a back pass that bobbled past the keeper. Today it is called 'His mistake' or 'blunder.' But it was neither a blunder or a mistake. Just one of those things that happen. The fact that England are rank rotten (amen) is ignored so long as one man can take the blame. Poor journalism!
Scotland meanwhile did Ok against the Ukraine. However the refs dodgy decisions undid us at the end. No way should Pressley have been sent off. No way was Shevchenkos dive a penalty! But the English press will concentrate on Scotland being beat, not Scotland losing!
Overall while the English struggle to accept they are not one of the worlds top sides, and never have been, Scotlands slow progress from the past few years continues. While there is a long way to go hope is there for the future. The young Scotland sides, Under 19s, 16s etc are doing well.
For us the way is up. Until England accept their failings and lose the needless unjustified arrogance they have only failure ahead. Failure and a long line of scapegoats no doubt.

Some journalists exist. Why is football lacking in them? Why is there so little good football writing? The fanzines of the recent past showed that some folks out there could write. How come the press ignore this and concentrate on 'loving' or 'hating' individuals or clubs?
We deserve better.
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Good also to see the two Irish sides ad Wales sorting themselves out. Northern Ireland in particular are doing well for such a small nation.

Monday 9 October 2006

Withholding Self From Jesus

For far too many years Jesus has loved me.
For far too many years I have found myself withholding my self from him!
After all he has done, after all those answers to prayer, all the reaching out to me, I sit here in the Adullam cave, keeping myself, and merely existing.

It is one thing when among Gods people to respond, one thing when the Holy Spirit moves on me, but another thing altogether when early morning comes. Then I hold me tight. I want to follow my way. Work may call, things to be done, places to visit, fun to have and Jesus can wait, sometimes for days.

Many times he has been here. Close and real. But have I not clammed up within myself? Have I not withheld my self, me, from him? I use logic and realise I must let go to him. I work it out in my mind, and understand the situation, but hang back. He yearns for my love. He gets offhand responses, unless I am in trouble of course!


Jesus, why must I be like this? I must let go, I must let you, I must.....
But I sit in the cave, empty.
I have me, and nothing but....

Friday 6 October 2006

Muslim veils

Should Muslim women wear veils in the UK?
Well now I think about it the wearing of such veils seems wrong to me. It sets up a barrier between the woman and the world around her. Worse, some wear the vile not because they want to, but because their man dictates that they do. To me that is wrong! It is one thing for a man to want his wife to do something, it is another when she is just an object that belongs to him, as it appears to often to be the case with some immigrant attitudes.
For many years the UK policy has been 'diversity.' That is, encouraging folks who come here to be themselves and feel welcome. However, far too many have misused this, and incomers have become more important than the indigenous population! No wonder the BNP find a following!
It is time people were treated equally and as 'people' not objects! Immigrants ought to learn the so called 'British way of life.' By doing this they, as the majority are already doing, are able to keep most of the lifestyle they have left and enjoy the fruits of work in this nation. Very good too!
But some seem determined to live their way, and claim racism when they are opposed. Too bad I say. These are the vociferous minority, and must be listened to, but disagreed with. One sign of such people is the vile. It is not a Muslim religious necessity, but a cultural one, and as this is not British culture it needs removal!
Democratic we may be, but pragmatism in all things is needful.
Should Muslims be free to follow Islam? Yes! But the veil should be removed, now!

Wednesday 4 October 2006

Hard Work Looking For Work!

Looking for work is harder than working, especially when there are limits in what you can do.
So I buy the relevant papers, lookup the pertinent websites, and ask around, or network as they call it now, in order to see what might be available.
But depression is not far away.
Why? No matter how good or bad you are. No matter your age, talent, knowledge, experience and willingness there is always the problem that suitable employment just does not exist!
If you have a degree employers think you are 'over qualified for the job. If you are like me, you have not got enough qualifications! You can be to old or young, even though they will not say so now, too inexperienced, or wrongly experienced. There may be something you lack, in my case a driving license, or the distance is too much. Disability, as with my arthritic knee, will be a problem, however some look for a disabled employee to make it look like the company 'cares!'
And in the end, the money is poor. Round here anyway.
One major problem is caused by living in a small town. Even major cities can make job finding difficult, but little market towns leave little leeway for those with few skills.
So, if you know of a vacancy for a no nothing who likes photography, history, football (naturally) and is trained only in humping things, who is not keen on dealing with people, wants to work more or less on his own, is broke, can't drive, and is a headcase, please call!
I sit here in my depression, waiting.

Tuesday 3 October 2006

Somerfields

Yesterday I went to Somerfields. I go there in the middle of the day because it is always empty. The poor quality of the goods and the cheap, off hand staff make it by far the least of the supermarkets in the town, if not the country! However it was mid morning when I turned up there. Lo and behold it was stuffed full of staff, all running around like headless chickens shelf filling! Never before have I seen so many workers in Somerfields.
The customer count was high also, with some folks doing the weekly, or is it monthly shop that morning. Imagine, buying every thing you need from this store! Jings! But here once again the true nature of the store showed through. While the chickens filled the shelves no-one bothered to serve the customers! Only two tills were opened, both staffed by unsmiling snails. Here also Somerfields absurd checkout system shows its weakness. The far too small, and clearly cheap, bags hang on rails at the end of the far too small checkout. While the goods pile up folks struggle to fill the bags and get on their way. This is excaberated by the fact that most are female, and as you know, slow at everything that requires simple logic
I headed for the cigarette kiosk where small baskets can be served. No quicker, and the glum fat sixteen year old, more intent on getting home to watch some imitation Oprah type programme, was doing her best while other staff bundled around beside her helping no-one and doing less.
Somerfields, the down market, less classy store! I wonder if they ever ask themselves why Tesco make a £billion half year profit eh?

Sunday 24 September 2006

Neurotic Women

Why must women be so neurotic? Watching a Gran and daughter walk through a park with the six year old boy and his dog I got the impression this kid will never survive the year!
'Watch the road!' they yelled, even thought the road was a hundred yards away. 'Do this , do that!'When the kid was happily running around bothering no-one. I almost cried out 'Leave him alone you stupid women!' 'There is no danger so why the fuss?'
Such needless vexation just irritates the child, and could lead to long term damage. For one thing he is male. Therefore he will not think, act, or understand the world as they do. Will they comprehend this? I doubt it. Does he have a father? I wonder. Too many stupid girls get themselves pregnant, expect the state to provide for them, and raise a child in circumstances God did not intend. There are many unbalanced kids growing up and raising similar kids today because of such poor parenting. Of course not all kids suffer badly, nor do they all go wrong. Many turn out to be excellent citizens. But why is their life made harder by having a dysfunctional family from the beginning?
Mothers need to worry less. Today's mums do show their neurosis all to freely. In the past women recgnised the dangers and made sure kids did also. Now angst is the order of the day all to often. Why? Because they feel for the child as a mother should? No! Because they feel for themselves. It is not the child but them that counts. He is not a child brought into the world to be reared in the right way, he is an extension of her personality. This is not good. The child ought never to leave a mother, but has to be regarded as an individual, not a continuation of the mothers ego.
The answer? Mothers, and women in general need to spend less time reading magazines that feed their deep seated need to be reassured, and more time just getting on with it. Assurance will follow. It is the same for us all. It is the way for millions of women in deprived countries, who have a real need to worry. So why not here in our fat over developed land?

Friday 22 September 2006

Uttar Pradesh Christians

India is a secular country, so why is it that Christians, and Muslims, suffer persecution?
The present government, the BJP, is a nationalist Hindu party. They see other religions as 'foreign' influence so do their best to oppose them. An anti Muslim feeling has of course been strong in India for a very long time. Independence in 1947 saw some terrible suffering for all peoples.
However in recent times the persecution of Christians has become a major problem. Churches, sometimes long established, come under fire in many ways. Buildings are vandalised, individuals are attacked, in some cases murder has been committed. If this causes difficulties for large churches in major cities, imagine the hassle endured by those in small towns or villages. Areas where authority is poor, or supports the transgressor. State governments and police often offer subtle support for such crimes. While many may keep to the rule of law,the law can be abused depending on the pressure from the top. Pressure from the top, that is local and state government, often comes. For instance in Uttar Pradesh false accusations are laid at the door of pastors. Some are charged with 'converting' people from one religion to another, a crime in some states. Lies and rumours are used to attack the churches. Little is reported in the press, local or national.
Why is the Indian government allowing such things to occur? How come other nations do not attack this abuse of human rights, at local and national level? Violence against Christians is not new, it has occurred since the beginning, but questions must be asked of the Indian nation as to its secular status.
Christians need to give more prayer help to those in Uttar Pradesh and the rest of India suffering such abuse. Governments need to pressure the BJP to live up to the constitution which they are supposed to uphold!

Thursday 21 September 2006

Job Search

This job search lark is a bind eh? I knew it would not be easy, especially with the leg limiting the work I can do, but even though the internet is a great help it remains a slog! I have just looked through several sites listing a wide variety of work vacancies, few which I could fill I may add, and now I am worn out! Maybe it is just because I am one of natures lazy folks, or maybe I have worn myself out just too much doing the last job I am not sure but this work search is hard work! So, I have searched the web, got the papers, asked all and sundry, and here I am, nowhere! Some things never change eh?

Soon I must report to the Employment folks, sign on and explain myself to the little corporals who infest those places. Then I will be free from their attention for another fortnight. Unless the disability man calls of course.
This disability thing is a laugh right enough. Throughout the nation there are folks who claim disability benefit while they have nothing whatsoever wrong with them! The benefit folks have been active though. Secret cameras have filmed 'injured' men with 'bad backs' working quite happily carrying heavy loads. Successful prosecutions have ended their benefits and made them pay large amounts back to the Benefit Agency. Quite right too! However, many who are on benefit now carry walking sticks, even though they do not need them! Just in case a camera is around when they are out! In some parts of the country I think such sticks must be a big seller for the local shops!
I am not that disabled though, just limited by the arthritis. No more lugging things for me!
Not that I am in a hurry to return to work I must say. This rest is great for me. How I needed it! I really need another two months of this before I go on a real thorough search for work. But for the moment I am content, as long as I have enough to keep me going. But it must be a new way off life. Something constructive and worthwhile. After all, at 55 this is my last chance to do something now!

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Tuesday 19 September 2006

Muslims

Why is it Muslims get so excited these days? The Pope makes a comment re a 14th century king and riots break out throughout the Muslim world. Why? The Pope apologises, Muslim leaders accept this apology, yet political leaders in some Islamic states press for more. To me it seems to often Islam is used to benefit political endeavors and has nothing to do with religious concerns.
But in recent days we have had many agitations in the Muslim world. Danish cartoons were the cause of riots, now the Popes comments follow suit, Iraq and Afghanistan cause protests in many places. Why the outrage?
If Jews, Christians or Hindus dislike things there are rarely such demonstrations, and those that occur are usually peaceable. Why do the recent demonstrations regarding a comment on 'Islam spread by violence' result in such violence? Posters calling for 'Death to infidels' cannot reflect well on Islam. Does 'Islam' not mean 'peace?'
Quite simply if Islam worldwide wants to be taken seriously and respected then it needs to change. Change in the sense of understanding the West, which it tends to regard as 'Christian,' a term that means nothing to most living in the West! You can have a Muslim country, but you cannot have a Christian country, you can only get Christian individuals. A huge difference and one not understood, nor explained to Islamic societies. A huge cultural gulf exists between Islam and the rest. It is time for islamic societies to comprehend better nations outside their own. It is possible, most Islamic immigrants to Western nations settle in well. Few would actually want to return to their, or their parents origins. That alone speaks volumes!

Islam will never back down, why? Because to many use it for their own ends. As in days of yore Christianity was often used in this way by political leaders, Spain in South America is just one obvious example, Islam is used this way today. In fact it always has been used this way. So the Roman Catholic Pope was right to say Islam was a violently spread religion. He forgot to add, so was the Roman Catholic!


Jesus does not spread his 'good news' by violence, but in the hearts of individuals. You cannot force people into true love and faith in the person of Jesus, it has to be offered freely. That, in itself, is harder than being forced to obey without thinking. The giving of the self, self denying, is the most difficult act any man can endure!

Monday 18 September 2006

Female Historians

What is it about these females who think they are historians?
Why is it they always write about women, and always, 'feisty' or 'independent' or 'heroic' women? Are they studying history or themselves?
Not for one moment can it be said these women need their stories told to enlighten us about the past. Nothing in the many volumes produced in recent years changes our understanding of history. No, all we have is a desperate attempt by middle class lassies, who have never had a real job, to live out the prejudices built up during their formative years. The benefit to those girls working on Sainsburys checkout, delivering the post or driving lorries is hard to define.
The fulfilment in writing a book that satisfies one girls desire to right a wrong that never existed, except in her own mind, is a vacuous one.
Come on girls, write about a historical subject that is not an extension of your angst, but a subject that will enlighten us all, even if it will not sell to like minded middle class wasters!

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Friday 15 September 2006

First Week of Unemployment Nearly Over

I am so glad I had this week. The pressure is off and I have had some rest. Never realised how tired I had become. The bug still lingers but another week will remove that. The job seeking begins in earnest today when I (at last) get to speak to someone in the job shop! I spoke on the phone to a central office on Monday, was called again the next day and asked more or less the same questions, and received the paperwork yesterday to check it over. Today I speak to what may be a human being. I suspect it will be a bored functionary with an agenda to remove me from their little list and fulfil their main object of paper pushing! If it looks good on paper folks upstairs will be happy, the effect on me means little! The numbers game matters more!
The questions, what can you do? Nothing. What skills? None. Hindrances? Bad leg, dumb, old. Have you considered becoming a suicide case maybe? This will be asked with official blank look.

In truth the future looks bleak but I am too dumb to realise it yet! So I plod along. Once the food runs out, the bills fail to be paid and I am dumped on the street then I may begin to think things are not going well. So while I collect together the vast quantities of paperwork I need for this heartless interrogation you sit back and enjoy the weight increasing as you stuff your fat mouth with foodstuffs you don't need. Don't worry about me, I can survive malnutrition.........

Thursday 14 September 2006

Time

How lovely it is to have time! Without the requirement to rise at 3:40 a.m. there is the chance to stay awake and watch football, even at ten in the evening! Fantastic! By waking up at six I can face the day, well almost! It must be difficult for some to appreciate these simple things in life. But early risers will understand, and, if still rising early, be very jealous. The relaxation that comes without the requirement to work is just what I need!
The physical side of the job, coupled with my mental tiredness was playing havoc with my life. Bugs would not leave me, concentration was often difficult, energy lasted no longer than the Tuesday, and my temper did not manage that long! I want this rest period to continue for a month or two yet. I hope some money comes to ease the time mind you.
Could this get boring? Will I actually miss meeting people? Time will tell. And I have lots that I can do. There is the feeble attempts at Latin, Russian and improving my written English which could be attended to. Many parts of this flat need attention, where is the Hoover anyway? I could even attempt to write things, and maybe see if I can produce something worth reading. I might attempt the J.Net lads today. They will stomach experiments. And be honest about them!
Of course I may even meet the lovely Blackberry Juniper at the weekend for a short while. Unless her man forbids it, or rain puts her off. We will see.

Tuesday 12 September 2006

Unemployed

Adullamite


So now begins a new life. Searching for a new job
But in truth I don't want one just now. I just want to sleep for two months and rest my knees. Then I want something worth doing!

Friday 1 September 2006

Church Traditions

How many differing traditions there are in the church.
If we consider those churches holding to the basic truths of the Gospel we still find a wide variety of liturgy, worship, outfits, and procedures on show.
Should this be so? Would it not be better for all to do things the same way?
Well yes, but then we lose the many cultural differences that exist. And I refer here to the ones that do not clash with Gods ways. All cultures have good and bad.
For me, the simple way is best. No need for dressing up, no need for Episcopal heirachy, no need for anything but useful buildings. Simple, and straight forward is best. The way Jesus himself appeared.
Churches need authority and to cling to the truth. That way we appeal to the majority.

Tuesday 15 August 2006

Some Days Later

So instead of completely falling apart sanity, of some sort returns.
Prayer to the living God works.
Naturally it meant changing my ways, removing the hate, and beginning to do things the right way.
Now there is movement in the secondary things. Possibly I may get the Medical Retirement I seek form work, just possibly. There is a chance the folks I objected to may be dealt with, in the future.
But mostly I have found a slight return to biblical fact! I had put Jesus aside, and let me take over.

The fear of being lost is great. I have no doubt about the existence of Hell. But I seem to forget everything during daily life. I can no longer keep Jesus in my head as it were during worktime, and forget him at most others also.

Thing is, he has put himself out for me many times, I have seen him acting for me in a wide variety of ways. Why then can I not throw myself into him? How come I hold back so often, and end up in a mess so much? Mentally I am too tired to make the effort, and physically this job is making that worse. So I need the job to end, and my mind to rest also.
But it is in the heart I need to give all to the one that really loves me.
Help me do this Jesus, help me truly 'worship' you now!