Showing posts with label Yorkshire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Yorkshire. Show all posts

Thursday 16 April 2015

Nothing Day




As the sun rose majestically, spreading its bright yellow rays across the town, the birds in the park hesitated a moment from chomping worms to cast their eyes skywards, I would have done likewise but I had my head buried deep into my pongy pillow.  Weariness ruled and even at ten past six, when the sun was above the houses and the birds gathered on the rooftops chasing one another, my head wished to remain where it was.  This was an attitude that remained all day.  Glancing through the window my eyes hurt at the brightness while the early morning chill reminded me that summer has not yet arrived.  

The day passed with my head on the desk pretending I was cogitating while cheery people passed by outside still dressed for yesterdays heat and ignoring the cold wind that should remind them it had gone. I decided that I was too lazy tired to wander about in the outside world so I turned on 'BT Sport' and watched some of the highlights of Brisbane playing Melbourne at football.  It was refreshing to watch Australians playing in the rain!  It was just like Forfar on a normal Scottish League day, even though the Aussies were playing at night!   Brisbane it must be said were deservedly beaten.  How interesting to see events taking place miles away.  I sometimes sit and wonder at the inventions that allow us to be transported to the other side of the world.  Not long ago the only way to get there was by ship, and the only way to travel for free was to be a convict. We will not ask how our friends relatives arrived.  It is oh so easy to take for granted all the technological marvels we overpay for and never stop to think just how marvellous they are.


I see another of those election debates is on the telly tonight.  Once again I am ignoring them just as David Cameron is doing, he hates debating as he gets caught out, what a wimp of a premier he is. The papers have been full of MPs meeting babies, showing us their kitchens, their women paraded and other nonsensical photographs.  Nobody really debates nor do they offer sensible policies.  I wish I had stood here, at least common sense and complaining would get me a few votes!




Tuesday 29 April 2014

Tuckered....




Museum, lots of kids, group of handicapped, visitors, home, lunch, dead soldiers, dead brain, bottle of beer, deader brain, goodnight.....



Friday 6 September 2013

Things upon which to Cogitate






A must read for intellectuals.







So many being dumped the shops canny get rid of them!
It's Dan Brown all over again!



The small villages who received back the men who marched to the Great War and received all their boys back once again were called 'Thankful Villages.'  There were few indeed of these.  At the time this report was written, 2011, only 52 such villages could be found in England and Wales.  
No such village was discovered in Scotland or Ireland.
Near me lies a small village with a population of 402 in 1895.  
During the Great War some 32 men died in action,
rather more typical of the time.




To stop Soub from greetin I add the Yorkshire version



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Thursday 12 August 2010

Duz tha speak Yowkshire?

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A Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.

Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."

Vet: "Is it a tom?"

Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it with us."
...................................................................................

A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.

Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"

Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"

Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone yer daft bug
 ger!"

................................................................................................
A Yorkshireman's wife dies and the widower decides that her headstone should have the words "She were thine" engraved on it. 

He calls the stone mason, who assures him that the headstone will be ready a few days after the funeral. 
True to his word the stone mason calls the widower to say that the headstone is ready and would he like to come and have a look.

When the widower gets there he takes one look at the stone to see that it's been engraved "She were thin".

He explodes: "'ells bells man, you've left the blood
 y "e" out, you've left the blood y "e" out!"

The stone mason apologises profusely and assures the poor widower that it will be rectified the following morning.

Next day comes and the widower returns to the stone mason: "There you go sir, I've put the "e" on the stone for you".

The widower looks at the stone and then reads out aloud:

"E, she were thin".

................................................................................

Bloke from Barnsley with piles asks chemist "Nah then lad, does tha sell ar
 se cream?"

Chemist replies "Aye, Magnum or Cornetto?"

 
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